The episode opens with Supergirl flying through the air telling the viewer that this isnt ‘His’ story. It’s hers, just in case you misread the title of the show. The flying effect looks pretty good, even if it does seem like she’s always traveling in a large circle.
She’s being put through some tests as the Gruff but Lovable guy from the first episode lobs missiles at her. He assures her that these tests aren't ‘just because you’re a woman’. So we’re 1:40 in and we already have 2 instances of reminding everyone that girls are awesome. I can see where this is going so let’s officially start the drinking game now. Whenever someone mentions that Supergirl is...well, a girl, take a drink. If that person then goes on to explain how theres nothing wrong with being a girl, take another drink.
More tests and of course she passes with flying colors. Gruff But Lovable isnt happy though and comments on how much wanton destruction she caused in the process. But exactly how she was supposed to destroy missiles without -destroying missiles- is never explained.
There's no time to ponder that, because she gets a call over her super hearing about a huge fire at the docks. Up Up and Away! (These flying effects really are great)
Supergirl gets to the docks and the firechief starts to mansplain to her that the fire will cause the oil tanker to explode. Thanks for the newsflash chief. But he’s not done yet. He then asks ‘What are you waiting for, Superman would have blown it out by now!’. Really fella? you’re an expert on how to use superbreath? Well, Supergirl listens to him and blows on the fire, which just causes it to flare up. The firemen all complain that she’s making it worse, but I’m with Supes on this one. The firechief explicitly said to blow it out. Even I know blowing on a big fire is just giving it more fuel.
Supergirl instead decides to pull the tanker away from the fire, which works... until she rips the front off of the boat and causes a huge oil spill. Ouch. Now this time, I gotta put the blame on Supergirl. I dont even have super powers and I managed to pull the front bumper off of my old Audi by accident. You gotta push from the back. Oh well, a few million dead fish never hurt anyone.
The next day Kara shows up to work just as Maxwell Lord, who I guess is the local Lex Luthor, is on TV complainig on about the menace of superheroes. I wonder if this will come up in the future. The Devil Wears Prada rip off boss calls a meeting to complain that so far Supergirl sucks at being Supergirl. She wants Jimmy, I mean, James Olsen, to get her an interview with Supergirl, Lois Lane style.
Kara goes into Jimmy’s office and says she cant do an interview since her only disguise is a pair of glasses and a hair bun. Which would be a good point, except that earlier in the episode she has a whole speech about how she doesnt have to hide anymore. And for the past week her face has been all over the news. Jimmy eases her mind about it by laying down some smooth mack moves on Kara. He invades her personal space and leans in, drops his voice a couple of octaves, looks deep into her eyes, and talks about getting her out of those boots. Or something like that. Bottom line, it’s obvious Kara is picking up what Jimmy’s laying down and its only a matter of time before they end up..she catches herself and leaves the office before a report needs to be made to HR.
Childish Gambino makes a cameo as a security guard who gets attacked by this week’s bad guy. This doesnt really matter because let's be honest, no one is expecting this guy to be a real threat to Supergirl. The next morning, Gruff but Lovable meets Supergirl at the crime scene and asks that she not cause any oil spills while she’s here, Oh SNAP! Sick burn, Gruff! We get a flashback to Krypton where Supergirl remembers that the badguy is a giant bug. But before the government lets her go after it, she has more training to do. So Supergirl is a government employee? Why is she letting this guy tell her what to do? Did she have to fill out a W2? Is there an Obamacare for superheroes?
Supergirl is taken into an empty room for fight training. Her sister had to spend ‘12 hours a day for 5 straight months’ training in this room. Now that's just a waste of time and money right there. Why not use a gym? Any local YMCA would be better equipped than this. At least get some free weights and an excercise bike. I know the government is strapped for cash but they can't hand out some Shake Weights? And surprise, to make things ‘fair’, the room has a Kryptonite emitter. Come on now, that’s a dick move. You can’t just walk someone into a closet, close the door and then let them know, ‘By the way, you’re breathing poison gas. Now lets fight.’ The sister beats the crap out of Supergirl which seems less like training and more like payback for some childhood angst. Why doesnt Kara know about Kryptonite? Shouldn't Superman have told her about it? I mean, if there’s only one thing on the entire planet that can kill you, then maybe you’d want to give your cousin a heads up. It’s like taking her to a candy store and not mentioning the deadly peanut allergy that runs in the family.
The next day Kara shows up at work and we get a lengthy sermon from Prada on how women need to work twice as hard as men to be seen as half as good. Complete with musical cues.Take a few drinks.
Supergirl meets with James and some guy who’s so deep in the friendzone that i’m pretty sure his character name is ‘Just a Friend’. She tells them both that she wants to start small with this hero stuff and she wants their help. So we get a montage of Supergirl fixing traffic jams, getting pets out of trees, and stopping a pizza store hold up. Friendzone brags to Jimmy that he made Supergirl’s underwear. I'm not sure it had the effect he was going for.
I'm gonna need some clarification on this secret identity stuff. Because from what I can tell, it’s not that secret. Jimmy, Friendzone, Gruff but Lovable, the Sister, and everyone in the government knows that Kara Danvers is Supergirl. That's not much of a secret.
Prada is back and pushes Jimmy to get her an interview with Supergirl. But James has a policy against using his friendships for professional gain. Really Jimmy? Really? So that award winning photo that Superman posed for doesnt count? Exactly how did you get your current job again?
The government sets a trap for the bug guy and it works. Except that instead of capturing him, bug man kills all the red shirts and kidnaps Supergirl's sister. Why wasn’t she killed like everyone else? Because bad guys know who signed a season long contract.
Another moment with Jimmy and Kara on a balcony. Okay okay, we get it. This relationship is getting fast tracked so hard you’d think it was a Kay Jeweler's commercial. Jimmy’s voice drops back into ‘lets get it on’ mode and he explains how he wants to be more than just friends. Or something like that. Kara responds how she doesnt want to be alone and how they can work on stuff together. Or something like that. But before the zippers get moving, she gets a call about her sister being kidnapped.
Supergirl to the rescue! Have I mentioned how great this flying looks? She shows up in the bug guy’s lair, a big empty warehouse. Perfect for a super fight.
Hey, isn't that Supergirl’s real mom as the boss bad guy? Oh, that’s her mom’s evil twin. Good way to save money on another actress. Supergirl recognizes that it’s her aunt, Astra. Astra tells Supergirl that she’s trying to stop the earth from being destroyed in the same way Krypton was. Hmm, sounds reasonable. Supergirl responds that she wants the same thing. Perfect, so everyone is in agreement. Roll credits. Oh wait. I guess not, because Astra punches Supergirl in the face. Why? No idea. But we get a pretty good fight scene. Astra calls Supergirl ‘little one’ which is understandable since she is her niece and the last time she saw her, Kara was 12. But Supergirl yells to ‘never call her that again’. And drops some steel beams on Astra’s head. It’s iffy if thats a girl power moment..but i’ll allow it. Take a drink.
Meanwhile the sister escapes and beats up the bad guy by kicking him in the balls.(Take a drink) Bugs have testicles?
Astra blows Supergirl down and is about to go in for the kill but Gruff but Lovable comes to the rescue and stabs her with a kryptonite knife. Hmm. Supergirl was saved by a guy with a knife. Something about that seems very anti-girl power. Spit out a drink’s worth of alcohol. Also, why is Gruff but Lovable carrying around a kryptonite knife? Has he been planning on stabbing Supergirl if she gets to sassy? She’s been standing right next to this guy a bunch. Has she never felt the effect of the kryptonite before?
Astra seems to have the same questions because she’s back at her secret villian's lair and tells her lackey to find out what this new superweapon the humans have.
Supergirl gets introduced to her own Fortress of Solitude that only she can enter. Well, her and the IT guy who set up the keypad. And the janitors who keep it shiny. And it’s not so much a fortress as it is a small room with a blu ray projector with videos of her non-evil Mom.
The episode ends with Supergirl picking up Prada’s car and flying her to the top of a building to give her an interview. Well, Prada and her driver, because they never showed him getting out of the car.
- Published in Dead Pixel Live Blog